The Pandemic Holiday Blues
The holidays can often be a mixed bag of emotions...and this year in particular is bringing up many feelings. The holiday blues is something I first wrote about several years ago and seems more relevant in 2020 than ever before. We are all navigating a pandemic world and all the changes it kicks up. This year and especially this holiday season has brought change unlike any other and the emotions and fears attached can really cause some emotional and behavioral damage.
The holiday season can so often trigger many stressors (time with family or even time without family, grief and loss anniversaries, loneliness, financial concern, and many other stressors). Whether you face all, or just one of these stressors it is important to recognize healthy ways to cope and manage the emotions attached. The first step in managing the holiday blues is to learn a bit more about the symptoms.
The holiday blues are essentially a set of symptoms that appear similar to anxiety and depression. Various symptoms could include and are not limited to: worry, panic, depression, fatigue, sadness, irritability, etc. The holidays blues are associated with various physical symptoms: headaches, stomach problems, physical pain, muscle tension, insomnia/hypersomnia (sleeping too much), patterns of addiction and other physical health concerns. It is imperative we listen to our bodies and minds so we can intervene and safely address our emotional states.
I am hearing from many of the individuals I work with they are feeling a multitude of emotions. Loneliness has become such an increasing trigger this holiday season and in 2020 overall. It is so challenging to be away from family at the holiday times, but to add on that we have all been socially isolating for about 8 months makes this holiday season even more difficult. Coping with loneliness really comes down to being self aware and taking care of your own mental health.
We need to focus on and care for our own needs…but first we need to understand what those needs are. Journaling can help track your thoughts, feelings, needs and worries. If you don’t love journal writing, try using artwork as a medium to channel anything you are feeling. Art allows us to express ourselves in a variety of forms (painting, drawing, sewing, creating music, playing an instrument, cooking/baking, crafting, etc.). As you read on you will learn and explore some other helpful tools to manage the loneliness and other emotional triggers present right now.
Along with managing the loneliness, sadness and anxiety of 2020 I have also seen many people trying to maintain and keep a brave facade. I have witnessed many people repressing and limiting their true feelings as a means of keeping others safe. That repression becomes quite difficult to navigate and cope with long-term. It is very important to really own and be honest with ourselves and others when we are struggling. When we hold back our needs and feelings, we end up hurting ourselves more than anyone else. As challenging as it may be, we need to allow ourselves to advocate for and express our emotions. Engaging socially, writing (putting down our thoughts on paper, thought tracking, journal writing, etc.) and even speaking to a therapist can help us understand what we are feeling and begin to work through those concerns. Sometimes we just need to grieve and process the losses and emotions we are presently feeling.
The holidays also bring up other challenges related to expectations of ourselves and others. There are so many expectations, anticipation and emotions tied to the holidays that it can be a challenge to stay grounded, present and calm. I have noticed many individuals engage in the "should" thoughts when thinking about their holiday experience. Some of these “should” thoughts are: I should be happy, I should see my family/I should want to see family, I should smile, I should buy gifts, I should not worry, etc. Those “should” thoughts specifically bring up guilt toward ourselves and anger toward others. It is so very important to kick the “should” thoughts and really all expectations of ourselves, others and the holiday situation out the window this year and going forward. Let’s work to focus on what we want and what we can tolerate at the holiday time. With all the stressors of 2020 let’s change the word “should” to the phrase “what can I handle right now”.
You are not alone in navigating this pandemic holiday world. We are all feeling the stress in different ways. Just because it is holiday time does not make the stress any less and in many cases it is bringing up even more chaos and challenge. There are so many questions floating around (i.e. do I see my family, is it safe to see family, what can I do alone, do I have to be alone, etc.). This pandemic world is truly a new adventure and the concern and worry attached causes much strife.
As human beings we do not do well with a sense of the unknown and this current holiday season brings up many unknowns, questions and concerns. It is OK not to have all the answers. It is also OK to admit you are stressed, worried and not doing well right now. As a world we have never gone through anything like this in modern times and it is a new world we are navigating.
There are some helpful things we can do to calm our thoughts, minds and body. This is a great time to engage in hobbies and tools that make you happy. Typically in times of stress we sometimes pull away from our coping tools, and it is important to find some personal accountability to maintain activity in those healthy tools. Distractions can be helpful in decreasing the focus on stressors in our life. The distractions will not change what is going on, but gives us something else to channel our energy to. Healthy distractions like art work, hobbies at home, gardening, exercise, reading, starting a new show, cooking/baking, etc. allow us to stay more grounded to the present and decrease the focus on the unknowns of the present and fears rooted in the past. Keeping to a schedule also allows us to find some control when we are feeling lost. Writing in a journal also allows for healthy self expression. Finding new ways to connect with others also allows us to engage in a social, yet safe manner. We may be socially distanced, but we can still text, call and face time with the people we care about.
This year may be different in many ways, but there is hope and there is help. There are opportunities to take care of ourselves even when stressed and upset. As always if those emotions become too much to bear please reach out to someone. You are not alone in this…and this is temporary.
In review here is a brief list of healthy coping tools we can all use when feeling triggered by the holiday blues, the covid pandemic and everything thing else in general:
Stick to a schedule
Distract yourself with something healthy (ie. read a book, watch a TV program/movie, cook your favorite meal, call a loved one, etc.)
Try something new (i.e. cook a new recipe, pick up a new hobby, etc.)
Engage in healthy self care
Journal and/or express yourself in a creative and artistic way
Reach out
Recognize that you may be struggling and don’t be afraid to ask for help
If ever the holiday blues or any of the current stressors feel like they are out of control please call:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/